This post is the hardest blog post that I have ever had to type to tell you the truth. Obviously, not because I can’t relate to this post, but it’s because there are so many ways that I can go about this post. Before I start, I want to say that parenthood is hard. (Click here to read an article on why parenting is so hard). Parenthood is one of the most complicated hoods because there’s no how-to book written for it. You’re just winging it.
First Point of Contact
As far as motherhood goes, I don’t speak for every mother out there. I also know that every situation is different, and other mothers have their problems. I can only speak for what I know. One way motherhood is hard because everyone expects the mother to be the chef, chauffeur, doctor, and much more. It’s not even the people in your household. It’s the outside people that expect that from you. The oceans they expect you to cross to make things happen is insane. Especially when the father is perfectly capable of doing is insane. It’s not like we won’t do those things. The problem is the father is perfectly capable of doing half of the things expected of us to do. I honestly feel like parenting should be half and half. I mean, it is in my household.
Also, your child’s first point of contact is always you, no matter if their father is readily available. I don’t know what it is, but they will walk past their father and ask you to get them something out of the kitchen even when he’s closer to it. Sometimes I want to yell, your father is right there, not doing anything. Meanwhile, I am working on a million different things, and he’s chilling. Excuse my little rant. I did something different this time. I asked my friends why they thought motherhood was hard, and their answers were pretty much the same. So let’s talk about them.
Let’s start by talking about how we as mothers have to change our lifestyles. From the moment we find out that we are pregnant, we have to change everything about ourselves. We have to take more vitamins we can’t smoke or drink. We don’t need these things to survive, but it could be something that we do socially, and when we can’t, we feel out of place. Not to mention the countless number of doctor’s appointments that we don’t feel like going to, by the way. We have to ask for time off of work, and sometimes doing that is pressure.
Let’s not skip over the changes to your body. The hormones, your clothes not fitting, it’s like you gain a new identity overnight. You have to deal with that internally, and then once you have the baby, some of us (speaking for myself maybe) don’t “snap back” as others do. So we have to learn to accept our new bodies or work hard to get our bodies back to the way things were. What’s even more problematic is the mental aspect of it all. Mentally you don’t feel like yourself. It’s like you lose your identity as an individual after the baby.
Breaks and Sick Days
The one thing that they all said was moms don’t get to take sick days. It’s stating the obvious, don’t you think? You either have your kid all of the time, or you feel obligated to have your kid even when you don’t feel well. With a kid, if they don’t feel well, they can go lay down, but with moms, that’s not the case. In my situation, I could be lying down, and then I hear her laughing. Anything at all, one little noise, and I am in there.
It’s not like I don’t trust that he can take care of our child by himself. I think to myself, “Money, you are missing a moment laying down.” You could be enjoying time with your family. I know you can’t think that way. You have to rest but tell that to my mind when it’s happening. Or my body, for that matter.
At the end of the day
Motherhood can be an overwhelming experience. As everyone knows, there’s no specific way to parent because no child is the same. So you’re going off of the deepened blind. You can take as many tips and advice from people as you please, but it might not always work for you.
While it is a very demanding and stressful job, it is gratifying. No matter how many late nights and early mornings you have or moments where you feel like pulling your hair out, it’s like it doesn’t even matter. When you are looking at your bundle of joy, sleep in your arms, or when you and your toddler are out, and you see your toddler interact with other people doing well. You think to yourself, look at what I created.